Now Playing Tracks

  • me as a pedestrian:

    [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM

  • me driving:

    say your prayers

vinegod:

this is the best fucking joke I’ve ever thought of ok by Kurtis Conner

glowing-fallen-angel:

homophobic:

sonically-gallifreyan:

im-an-assbutt:

Guys guys holy shit one day when we are all old and start to die on the news there’s going to be ‘last remaining person alive from the 1900’s has died’ BECAUSE ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE THE LAST PERSON ALIVE FROM WHEN THE YEARS BEGAN WITH A ‘1’ AND ITS PROBABLY GONNA BE A BIG THING THIS FEELS WEIRD

Ohmygod

obviously youre lookin for a competition and im winning

let the hunger games begin

  • Aries:

    I DONT HAVE A SUGAR DADDY

  • Taurus:

    IVE NEVER HAD A SUGAR DADDY

  • Gemini:

    IF I WANTED SUGAR DADDY YES I PROBABLY COULD GO OUT AND GET ONE

  • Cancer:

    BECAUSE I AM WHAT? SICKENING.

  • Leo:

    YOU COULD NEVER HAVE A SUGAR DADDY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL

  • Virgo:

    BABY EVERYTHING I HAVE IVE WORKED FOR AND GOTTEN MYSELF

  • Libra:

    I HAVE BUILT MYSELF FROM THE GROUND UP YOU FUCKING BITCH

  • Scorpio:

    *THROWS DRINK*

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union